The Dishwasher

So, I had a little epiphany today. Is that how you spell epiphany? So..anyways...I was in the middle of cleaning my kitchen and living room area when I realized that the state of my apartment is a pretty accurate example of how I live my life. My apartment is a mess. Now, I'd like to believe that I'm not always this messy. But, how I live in my apartment, is kind of how I live my life. Every now and then, I get a big urge to do the right thing and sort through everything, throw out the old stuff I don't need, dust, clean, vacuum, etc. And my apartment looks great and I feel great. And then it will be clean for a few...okay, a couple of days before the clutter starts to pile up again. Life is occupied with other important things and thus my apartment starts to pile up with dishes, papers, books, scraps here and there and everywhere. And before I know it, it's become so huge with messes that it stresses me out and I don't want to deal with it any more. So, it just keeps getting worse until I can't stand it any longer! So, I start to clean one area, but then I see a whole ton of other areas to clean and soon I'm overwhelmed and don't even know where to begin! But, I have to start somewhere. And little by little, soon my apartment starts to look like...an apartment. How it should look. If I don't take the few minutes to do my dishes when I'm finished with them, or put things back where they came from, then my apartment becomes out of order.

I feel like this is exactly how I live my life. My life right now I would have to say is as messy as my apartment. Don't get me wrong. I know where things are and where to find it and I usually do find it in the place that I thought it would be. But, things are definately out of order. There are some big piles of clutter and some little ones but even the little ones seem rather huge right now. I know I'm on the right track and taking the little steps to sort through it and eventually clean it all up. But, it will take time and it will require attending to the same things over and over again. Daily. Like the dishes. And if I don't do the dishes everyday, then eventually, I have huge pile of dishes and it's harder to take care of it when it gets big like that.

If I allow God to sort through me little by little every day, then I too will be back in order. It sounds so simple, yet so hard to do. But somehow, I think that God will show me that life isn't as difficult as I make it out to be sometimes. I think God would like to wash dishes more often. But I often won't let him and try and do it myself. I put it off and that's when I realize it's gotten so big that it's way over my head and I should have let him do it in the first place.

I don't want any more dishes. I don't want any more clutter. I'm tired of messes. I want to be clean and free from all that piles up on me. I need to stop trying to do it myself and let God play a part in this. He can be the dishwasher.